“How to build a house” without killing your spouse

Yes, you read that right. Let’s not pretend we all have these perfect, fairy tale marriages where we’re whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears at all hours of the day (lol). This is REAL life people, and building a house can be s-t-r-e-s-s-f-u-l-l.

So, since the hubs and I recently just finished doing this exact task, I thought why not write y’all a post highlighting some tips I feel would be helpful to know before building a house! LET’S GO!


First things first, and I can’t stress this enough, TAKE YOUR TIME!! With everything. From picking out your floor plan, to finding the right builder for you- this all takes time and it’s something you don’t want to rush.

If you’re like us, you’re probably wondering “what on earth are we even supposed to do first?!” It can feel overwhelming stepping into the unknown, but trust me, you will learn so much in this process and it will be so worth it.

Some of the first things we did— we looked at tons of floor plans online and researched different builders in our area. In my opinion, you truly need to talk to SEVERAL different builders and banks, do not limit yourself here. Really take your time with this step of the process. You will want to talk with several different banks in order to understand what you can afford for a home loan and to get the best deal.

Now, when I say ‘research’ your builder, I mean it. THIS IS HUGE! Talk to other people they have built for. Go look at houses they have already built. Ask tons of questions! Get a feel for who they are as people. Do they seem trustworthy? Honest? Punctual? This is a big deal people, because essentially you are trusting them with a lot of $$$$. I ultimately think this is the single most important decision you will make when building a home- choosing the right builder. This is why I stressed earlier to take your time with this part of the process.


Write out a ‘wish list’ and a ‘needs’ list. Unless money/budget isn’t an issue for you. For us, it was, so we really had to sit down and figure out what we actually ‘needed’ in a home vs what we ‘wanted.’ The more you can communicate and have discussions about this, the better. My husband and I agreed on some things, and other things we did not. It’s about ‘compromise’, folks. Which in reality, pretty much sums up marriage (HA), am I right?? I would highly recommend making out a visual list though, to help with this process and then sitting down to talk about it. The more discussion, the better!! Learn the importance of listening to what your spouse is truly wanting in a house and be respectful by compromising on things!


Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk to other people who have built homes!! You can learn so much from others who have been through it before. We found this so much more helpful than researching things on our own online. Getting firsthand experience from other people really helped us make decisions on everything from flooring to our home layout. Every time we would talk to others we would learn something new and it was truly beneficial. Now, this is not to say that everything you decide for your home needs to be based on what others have told you. It is ultimately YOUR home, but we truly found it beneficial to listen and talk with other people to gain insight into this big new adventure we had never been through before. We obviously took some of their advice, and disregarded others.


Trust the process and try to be patience. I know, I know- IT’S SO HARD! I understand, you want it done now and you want to be moved in by yesterday. Enjoy this journey with your spouse and spend time daydreaming about the memories you will make in your new home. Talk with each other about what you’re MOST excited for in the house! My husband and I would talk out loud about our excitement for the future, like “I can’t wait until we have a garage and we don’t have to scrap the snow/ice off our cars anymore (hahaha)” or “It will be so awesome to see Huck (our son) playing in the back yard some day.” Take time to stop and truly enjoy the process. I promise, it will all get done eventually! Before you know it, you will be sitting on your couch cozy as can be, smiling and thinking about how awesome it feels to finally be HOME! Enjoy the journey and know that it will get done, when it’s supposed to, at just the right time. 😉

Bonus tip- I would highly recommend NOT having a newborn during the building process (LOL) 😉

There you have it, my 4 tips for easing the building process! I hope this was beneficial for you and you’re able to take something away from it!

Happy building!